Active Listening -



Wellbeing Mentor Paul Jones talks on ‘Active Listening’

Welcome to the first instalment of our Wellbeing initiative aimed at helping all players, families and volunteers involved with Norths Rugby Club to turn up on a daily basis being the best they can be.

Understanding that the “Be Active” component is one of the valuable facets of what is provided at Norths in relation to exercise, sleep and diet. We will focus in the coming weeks on the remaining 4 and today we will provide an overview of Connect.

One of the most valuable and least practiced disciplines of positive connection is that of active listening. As a corner stone of our own communication process it is vitally important that we recognise the 4 levels of listening and appreciate that through focused practice we can immeasurably enhance our relationships.

The 4 recognised levels of listening and these will probably resonate with you include:

* Downloading : not present, not interested, not listening, maybe

preoccupied with a device;

* Self-Referencing : tending to look for something that concerns their

particular interest, not really present and probably

waiting for their turn to speak;

* Empathetic : present and able to identify with the other person’s

needs, positive eye contact and perhaps some

appropriate elbow/shoulder touching?

* Open Heart/Open Mind: totally present, non-judgemental, positive body language,

natural eye contact, listening for the intent behind the

words and providing affirmation that we are there for


On the flipside of intentional positive listening is the practice of “active constructive responding” whereby we firstly create space by pausing and breathing before we respond and provide the other person with the comfort of knowing that we have listened to the entirety of what they have had to say. Referring back to the speaker’s words and by choosing our own words carefully and with positive connotations we allow room for the conversation to continue in an unofficial mutually agreeable framework and the person knows they have actually been heard.

If we are to build more valuable positive and lasting relationships in a world that tends to value speed and convenience over quality the forgoing should provide a valuable starting point for our overall wellbeing.

If you would like to talk directly to Paul, his contact details are, 0423 025014. and email